Senioritis.
With roughly 3 months left of high school (Korean schools have a February – December school year), I have contracted this debilitating disease. It started creeping up on me at the end of summer vacation, and since then it has developed into a fully-fledged omnivorous parasite feeding on many aspects of my high school life. The symptoms caused by Senioritis differ from case to case- for me, it deepened the insecurities I had about my future, heightened my inability to make decisions, and brought back memories of some of the dark places I had been in last year. It came to a point where I was doing nothing but blankly staring at my computer screen during the day (albeit with a lot of Youtube and Tumblr on the side), and experiencing terrifying sleep paralysis attacks during the night. Most importantly, the writing part of my brain shut down completely when I needed it to write college essays. It stretched and lagged like a muscle unused for a long time, and after a while I started to feel afraid of writing.
The fear worsened my Senioritis, which in turn worsened the fear, and repeat infinitely.
Which led to this blog. One of my favorite classes this semester is Drama, Film, and Society (in case you didn’t know)- which, despite its esoteric name thanks to the Korean school administration, is basically an introductory film class. The class changed (rather, is changing) how I approach films and it is one of the only things that gets the juices in my brain pumping again. Instead of staring blankly at my computer screen, I started watching movies and actually thinking about them. Though I’ve yet to completely rid myself of the disease, I’m slowly recovering. Take that, Senioritis!
I’ve always loved watching films and writing, but I’ve never put the two together. I’m a far cry from many more knowledgeable film fanatics out there, with much more experience in both watching films and writing about them- hopefully by writing this blog my ability to comprehend and translate the visual language of films into words will improve over time. Even if it doesn’t, though, I’m sure it will help me survive senior year without succumbing to the deathly grasp of Senioritis. Not to mention how it will motivate me to use my writing muscles more. Hopefully.
143 glorious days until graduation!
drama, film, and society 